“I wear my own Garms”

“Fuck it” I thought a few seconds ago. Why not write about fashion.

Let’s get one thing straight. I ain’t pretty. I like many of us, with the personalities etc., HAVE to wear clothes to make us look attractive. I don’t look too great naked either, unless ‘Ausschwitz-chic’ is going to take off in 2010. So I’m not going to tell you what’s HOT, or what’s sooooo last Bank Holiday Monday, just what I think looks cool. And there-in lies the problem.

I’ve started to REALLY like the look of uncool stuff on purpose. In the past year tee shirts and sweatshirts began to appear in Urban outfitters with prints of wolves, much like you’d see on a fat american truck enthusiast. I bought one from a stall  that sole them for their non ironic purpose last christmas and cut the collar to make it more comfortable. The stall also had two live owls on display for some reason. It was easily the most exciting place I’d bought an item of clothing from in a while. This was, to sound up my own arse, before they became popular. Here is some additional information I learned last year at Uni. Forgive me if I don’t articulate myself very well. Bricolage is to take a product and make it your own by giving it one’s own meaning. (Me buying the tee shirt)  This is one theory by wearing tacky clothes. Counter Bricolage is when Marketers start to create products that adapt around bricolage, for instance, selling pre-ripped jeans. That’s what high street retailers like Topshop and Urban Outfitters did.

An ex girlfriend of mine who was far too nice to me bought me an 80′S  MEMBERS ONLY jacket I’d wanted but didn’t have the courage to buy from a vintage shop.  I really love it, but get slagged off for it. The latter doesn’t bother me. Below is myself wearing said jacket and my very funny friend Kirsten. Follew her on twitter! @kirstenin

However now the a forementioned passion for the dreadful has reached new heights. I’ve wanted one of these jackets for quite some time, but never been able to remember the name of them. I always remember them being wore by The Chuckle Brothers/ Parents in the 90’s. I finally remembered the name: NEVICA! Behold, a jacket I still require the balls to bid on ebay.

Don’t start reading yet… that’s a lot of nostalgia and colour to take in…

Beautiful right? I think I think I shall buy it. And that’s it. A blog entry born out of my indecision. And it was intended to be less self indulgent than the last two. (Shake head at disappointment in myself).

Till next time. John xxx

“Don’t make me laugh!”

One of the happiest moments in my life to date was receiving an e-mail regarding my first ever stand up comedy gig. I’ve always been kind of funny in the right circles and decided to have a go at it after being told in all seriousness I should try it. I know that makes me sound full of myself, but from the bottom of my heart, I’m really shit at a lot of other stuff.

I had my first gig at Snafu in Aberdeen and brought along around ten people to see me. It was the most fun and biggest rush I’ve ever had, although speaking on stage is quite a slow exercise in itself. I performed over my time and insulted the comedian following me, mistaking her for the sound person and asked her if she wished she was funny. Awkward but oh we laugh about it now. 

Then I had a bad gig at snafu in which I put no effort whatsoever in delivery. It really knocked the confidence out of me, (which for a self deprecating aspiring comic, is a low amount of confidence). I spent the next day listening to Lesley Gore’s “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To” as I wallowed in self pity. Particularly the lyric “Nobody knows where my Jonny has gone”.

After I had a gig at a different venue in Aberdeen, a gig in Glasgow and a very bad gig at another Aberdeen venue which made me somewhat of a maverick controversial character on the local circuit for a little bit. Basically, someone’s phone rang and I told him to answer it, being sarcastic, and he fucking answered it! I took the phone from his hand and started speaking to the person on the phone.

I was treating said controversial gig as a warm up for the Aberdeen heat of Scottish Comedian of the year. I had invited around 20-30 people to come and watch me and vote for me if they wanted. When it came to the gig itself it sold out wihtin 15 minutes and only 3 people out of  i knew were there to support me out of the 130 strong audience. It was still a really good night and my favourite gig yet. A few people came up to me personally and said they really enjoyed my set. Then I received praise from some of the other comedians in the competition; Andrew Learmonth, Gus Tawse and Jason Murphy who gave me my first gig and are all very funny gents indeed. I was fairly chuffed until I saw the review. A link for that very review is below.

http://www.comedianoftheyear.co.uk/scottish_comedian_of_the_year_2009_aberdeen_review.htm

I have decided to review this review…Touché!

My comedy is part observational and involves three to two minutes topics. One must pay attention to get the ‘jokes’. The criticism I received is given with very little thought to my actualy material and ignores the laughs I received. It says ‘for no discernable reason and without a punchline he went into the entemology of the C word’. I was talking about fighting and trash talking people before a fight and analysed an insult I was given. My favourite part of this review is the most backhanded compliment I’ve ever received nay, heard.

‘It’s a pity because he has an ok stage presence and there was the briefest of glimpses of some clever writing.’

I was also compared to the comedian Jim Hobbit, who is known as a joke on he scottish comedy circuit. Below is a clip of his set. If you ever see me perform stand up you will notice several differences between mine and The Hobbit’s, eg.

1. NO BANDANA

2. NO RUBBER GUITAR.

3. NO KAZZOO

4. NO KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

I intend to use the review for some material one day, but it needs carefully crafted to make me not sound like the whining prick I’ve just made myself out to be. I apologise for this long rant, but blogs are essentially vehicles for this sort of thing.

If someone asks you how this blog entry was just say ‘it had the briefest of glimpses of clever writing’.

Lots of love, John xxx

Hello the Internet. Remember me? It’s John.

As with most social networking sites/ internet related bunkum, I sigh as I type the standard username and give my e-mail address blah bliggidy blah.

I don’t even know what I’m going to use this for, however I imagine I’ll pretend to be more intelligent than I am, and be very self indulgent.

My name is John Aggasild and I am a student in Aberdeen, Scotland. I study Media..Studies. I didn’t deserve to get in and it could be better, but it could be very tough. I’ve scraped by with the bare minimum my entire life and I’m very cool with it. I am also a stand up comedian and by those standards very self depricating and can be depressing. I’ve not had many gigs but I hope to get better and funnier and more popular. I’d quite like to be famous, but I think most people would. It’s like popularity, but a more exclusive version.

I’ve suffered heartbreak, a marraige break up (my parent’s that is) and having long hair. This is me at a BBQ a year ago with some of my favourite things; a cigarette, my hair and a tight fitting slightly out of place yet not out of fashion jacket.

 

My hair is considerably shorter now. No longer do I look like a bad tribute act to my mum. At a comedy gig recently I was described as ‘what it’d look like if Morrissey fucked McLovin’. It still is the most cultured reference I’ve received in terms of my appearance. I’m sure he meant the product, that’s if men could have children like in the Arnold Schwarzenegger film ‘Junior’.

This swiftly leads me onto my first and greatest love which is films. I work in a Blockbuster which now supplies me with ten free rentals a week, which feeds me and my friends love for them too. However it has also fed my pretensciousness. I watch a lot of very bad films on purpose merely to laugh at the cliches, e.g. the works of Steven Seagal. 

 The best films I’ve seen recently are ‘Let The Right One In’, ‘Moon’,  & ‘Martyrs’.

My favourite films of all time however is ‘The Big Lebowski’. If you haven’t seen it and like quirky comedy watch it. You won’t regret it. It has everything! from Ten pin bowling, the most quotable dialogue ever, guns, paedophiles and people who belong in wheelchairs not in their wheelchairs.

I know that’s boring and stuff but John Cusack explains in ‘High Fidelity’, you are what you like (as in music and movies.) This is a very true statement. 

NEXT TIME!: MY review of my first ever review.

Laters, John. xxx